(W)T(F)opshop

I've made no secret in the past about my utter disdain for Topshop. I've never been blown away by the store over all and nowadays don't even take a look inside. I used to have a browse if there was a sale on but I don't even bother with that any more. About 4 years ago I had a little bit of a Topshop phase but only because of the Kate Moss collection. Some of the designs were cutesy, quirky and not like anything I'd seen anywhere, and before you think I paid full whack for those things, I didn't. I waited until the sale and never spent more than £20 on anything. Nowadays I feel that everything in Topshop is mundane, overpriced, generic shit - and that's putting it nicely. I know there's a lot of Topshop fans that may read this and love their clothes. That's great for you, really, if you want to splash out on poor quality, poor designed clothing that a majority of people are wearing. I'm sure you look great. I was just looking at the website out of curiosity to see if they'd had anything in that would change my long standing opinion, and in short the answer is no. Here's my pick of the best 'WTF' garments.
#1. 'Embellished Asymmetric Dress by Opulence - £185
Or as I like to call it 'Rancid Bridesmaid Dress by Gypsy Wedding'. Seriously WTF is this? It looks like something off a Strictly Come Dancing BFGW themed night? Where would you wear this to? I imagine this would be the top pick for a Jeremy Kyle guest on a bangin' night up town. But would they spend that much on it? Nah, I reckon a trip to the local indoor market and you could pick up a similar eyesore for around £20.
#2 Flower Shoulder Dress by Rare Opulence - £175
Struggling to find something to wear for that Bjork Fancy Dress night? Look no further. For a mere £175 you could look like you have a dead swan draped around your shoulders for that ultimate WTF look. It comes complete with a flattering and very 90's turtle type neck. Perfect if you're a drag queen looking to cover that pesky adam's apple.
#3 Metallic Snake Ponte Leggings - £25
What can I say about these?? NO seriously, what can I say?? If something can't even look good on a mannequin what hope is there for them on a real person? What kind of body shape or style could pull these off? Even the cast of The Mighty Boosh would get sideways glances for these monstrosities. Save your money or give it to charity or something PLEASE.
#4 Player Cut Out High Sandals - £85
Perfect for that 'street walker in the mid 80's' vibe. For £85 I'd rather invest in a sensible pair of loafers from Clarks thanks. Gold? Snakeskin? VOMIT. 
Harlequin Sequin Dress by Dress Up Topshop - £200
What better dress to go clowning around in, get it? CLOWNING around? Nah, that joke was about as lame as this design. Just think of the amount of effort that has gone into making this dress. That energy could have been invested into something much greater, like finding out the meaning of life. If you have £200 spare for a dress, wouldn't you at least make it a nice one?

I think that is all I can stomach for now. Garish, expensive, ridiculous; 3 words I would use to sum this selection up. Looking at the website I saw a few basic items I thought were OK but you can find the same garments for literally half the price at other high street shops. Some of the Topshop Make Up range does intrigue me, but once again looking at the prices I'd much rather spend my money on actual make up brands. Maybe I'm just a tight wod. 
What's the most ridiculous trend or garment you've seen on the high street lately?

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28 Comments:

  1. Overpriced and overrated! I hear ya, sister!

    www.lifeslittlestars.blogspot.com

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  2. HAHAHAHA this is fantastic!!!

    http://www.strawberreeswing.blogspot.com

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  3. AT LAST! Someone that shares my pure hatred of all things Topshop. I've always thought its an overpriced load of shit. And I have expressed this a fair few times on my blog.

    Although I don't ever shop there, I much prefer Miss Selfridge, River Island, and Dotty Ps. But obv I am a tight wad and stick to Primark.. sometimes treating myself to something naff from New Look.

    Topshop is crap.

    xx

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  4. I dunno, I reckon Noel Fielding could probably pull off the leggings, though only if he blamed it on a drunken bender in the Fountain of Youth. x

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  5. i must admit i am a huge fan of topshop but this post is hilarious i love!
    hello terri lowes new biggest fan! ;)

    http://sunjunkiex.blogspot.co.uk/

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  6. I adore this post, every time I look at the website I do exactly the same thing! x

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  7. This didn't half make me laugh. I nipped into TopShop this morning cos I was killing time in town, genuinely amazed at some of the monstrosities they've got on sale!

    xo

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  8. Haha this post is so funny, but I do find myself agreeing with you.

    http://racheltbeauty.blogspot.com/

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  9. Totally having the first one as my bridesmaids dresses. My friends are all really hot, need to ugly em up!

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  10. All I can do is lolll. I really like Topshop, but this post did make me laugh! I have to admit they do sell some bizarre things! p.s their make-up is really good!

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  11. I like quite a lot of topshop's clothes, but then their perculiar sizing really pisses me off - wah! I think that some of their stuff is indeed over-priced crap, though some of it is really good quality for money x

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  12. Ahahahahaha!!! That last dress is utterly hideous!! Who spends £200 on that?! I might become a Topshop designer as I'm sure I could come up with something equally as disgusting. I also feel the same about River Island. In my local one they have a dress in the window that has pink flowers stuck over a sequin dress.....not sure how that's suppose to entice me to look inside the store.... Fab post! :) (I will admit that I've seen a few posts on some nice nail polishes from in Topshop though. Only reason I would go in there I think!)

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  13. I agree I think Topshop is over priced, glad I am not the only who thinks this. Considering it's ment to be high street brand the cost's can be ridiculous. I've not tried their make up I must be the only blogger who hasn't lol.

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  14. I think the leggings would be amazing. on a disco dancing 7 year old.
    I rarely go in to topshop, I cant remember the last thing I got in there either, but I do have a dress and a top that I really like and wear fairly often, but both are over 2 years old I reckon!

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  15. completely with you! mostly chav-tastic (although i dont think im supposed to say chav anymore as its not "pc")over priced and crap quality. I hardly ever shop there and the last thing i bought was a jumper which was ok, but would never have bought at original price. Topshop is off my shopping radar these days!

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  16. I do shop at Topshop quite often (I could probably be a walking advert) but I agree that they have some awful, awful stuff. It's definitely overpriced though, that's for sure.

    Their makeup is quite decent though. I got two of the lip crayons the other day, and they're pretty cool :)

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  17. amen to this post! the stuff is so overpriced for what it is, especially as other high street stores bring out similar items a few weeks later for half the price!

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  18. Thank you for posting this - I thought I was alone in disliking Topshop! x

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  19. That last, erm, "thing" made me pull an involuntary o_O face. XD

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  20. hahaha this made me laugh, i do get the odd things from Topshop but i agree a lot is poor quality! me and my friend we're in Topshop the other day and we were like...i could make this myself!

    I do have 2 Topshop lipsticks Rio Rio and Brighton Rocks and a blusher that I use all the time though which i love so I think you should check out the make up :) xxx

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  21. This post has cheered up my Monday morning :-) I haven't bought anything from Topshop for years and I never go in there on shopping trips. Either overpriced or just plain weird stuff on the rails! Although I would like to try their nail varnishes... x

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  22. This post made me chuckle, i LOVE it, I to am a hater of top shop, the only thing i own from there is a kate moss dress, which i bought in the sale for about a fiver! Over priced AND you have be pretty much a size zero to fit in anything, ridiculously small sizes.

    GREAT post :D
    xxx

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  23. With you in this, the top dress is especially awful, and youre right, very market stall! I look in the sales but usually disappointed and they are never reduced enough for my liking! I maybe pick up a sale piece once a year from there, but I am very picky and never spend more than £20. I would never pay full price for anything there.

    Karys x
    whoisgrumblebeard.blogspot.co.uk

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  24. That first dress is "special". Really.

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  25. Oh my life this post has made my day. I thought I was the only person who disliked Topshop.
    I too find it overpriced and over-rated.
    I thinks its a great shop for 14 year old teenagers whose body shape is straight up and down, and who all want to look the same. But for girls size 14 and over, or with a bra size DD+ the clothes are unflattering and badly shaped.
    Thanks for this post.
    OutsideBeautyInsideHealth

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  26. Hahaha what a great post!

    I have never been a Topshop fan - some of the clothes they stock are just hideous! Who in their right mind would buy that Harlequin dress for that price?!

    There's only one thing I like in Topshop at the moment and it's a Marc B bag but even that is a bit on the expensive side for what it is!

    Em
    x

    http://emberdrake.blogspot.co.uk

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  27. I tip my hat to you dear, you have certainly found some corkers there!

    I only ever buy Topshop if it's in the sale, but I do go to their local events for the make-up, (and freebies and pink lemonade!)

    www.lucyslilworld.blogspot.com

    :) xx

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  28. Love this post! i have seen quite a few things in Topshop that I have thought "WTF?!" at too.
    All of these items are ming!

    Holli x
    Dragonmommy123.blogspot.com

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Thanks for the comment!

About Hello Terri Lowe


A UK Lifestyle, Food, Beauty and Music Blog, based in Staffordshire, you can also expect to see reviews of places around the country. Often spotted Manchester or Birmingham at the weekends, you can expect to see a little bit of everything from festivals to food and everything in-between. When not blogging, you can find me having a nice sit down with my cats, Stevie and Kitty, or enjoying a fine cup of coffee. Don't forget to take a look at my 'about' page if you're interested in collaborating on any exciting opportunities!


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