WTF Topshop: SALE Edition

I’ve not published a WTF Topshop post for a while now, but y’know – new year, new erm… vile things to share with y’all. To be fair, I did resort to the sale section on the Topshop website, as the current ‘new in’ section (which is my usual source of grim) actually tickled my fashiony taste buds. This may or may not have been due to Rose Tinted Glasses caused by THIS fabulous image of Queen Cara Delevingne on the home page though. Let’s take a moment to appreciate that face.

Now we’ve glanced at those brows and FACE, let’s get down to the grotesque. Trust me, this all looks a lot worse if you focus on something else for a few minutes then come back to it. Cara makes everything in her presence immediately more beautiful.

As you can see, it’s a bit of a mixed bag for this Topshop Sale Edition. We have the two jackets to the left. The top one in red reminds me a little bit of the Michael Jackson Thriller video. In particular, the part where he is wearing a red leather jacket and turns in to a wolf or something (actually, does this happen in this video, or did I dream it? Maybe I should google things before I write about them). The bottom silver number is stolen from Mr Motivators Winter Wardrobe circa 1992 (side note: MR MOTIVATOR IS STILL A THING. Check out his website here). Speaking of garish colours a la Mr M, let’s pop across to the right hand side of the picture and these lovely silky looking garments. Is it just me, or does this skirt and blazer combo remind you of boiled sweets? 
The blue dress in the middle is like something you’d have at a school prom in the mid 90’s. The strappy design and weird layering does nothing for the overall cheap and tacky material, but I guess it’s a delight compared to the faux leather jumpsuit. I mean, how would you even go about peeing in this thing?

Do you own any of these items?
If so please send me a picture of them being ‘styled’ I would love to see them out of intrigue.