I’ve seen so many posts lately about ‘Valentines Gift Idea’s’ and what people would like for Valentines day…. All I want to say is-stop it, stop it at once! Stop buying in to this sloppy excuse for a celebration. Stop wasting you and your partners money on tacky gifts. Stop using it as an excuse to get a bit of attention with a thoughtless generic present. Just stop it! Stop it NOW.
Don’t get me wrong, I have a boyfriend and I’m happy with that. I’m not a bitter single cat lady (yet…. thats the ultimate dream though). I just don’t like pointless celebrations. If you’re in that much of a loving relationship you wouldn’t need a particular day of the year to express your ‘love’ with corporate hoo-har. The other day I saw cupcakes in Asda being marketed as a special limited edition valentines gift…. which went out of date a week before valentines day?! If you do need to show your ‘love’ at this rather pointless time of the year, get a bit creative eh?I know I sound awful and like a bad person but I’m not. I just dislike the idea of being made to celebrate something just for the sake of it! (Saying that, I will probably be showered in wonderful gifts because I’m the best girlfriend ever!) So anyway, here’s my short list of things I do not want this Valentines day (and my reasons why);
Number ONE. Flowers:
Flowers are number one on my list of most pointless present EVER. They’re not just pointless as a present. They are pointless in LIFE. Seriously, I don’t get it. Why would you buy someone you had affection for a bunch of things you could find in a good garden for free that ultimately DIE. It’s like saying ‘Hey, I like you, but not enough to buy you something thoughtful and worthwhile so please have these things that look pretty for now but will wither and die as quickly as our relationship is going to’ I would probably end the relationship there and then.
Number TWO. Chocolate:
Why would I need some chocolate as a token of ‘love’? I could go to the shop myself and buy a freaking mars bar. It’s like saying ‘Here ya go you tubby cow, I could of taken you for a nice meal but I know deep down you’re happiest stuffing your face with fancy crap’ I would much rather a bag of crisps. If you really loved me you’d make them Kettle Crisps, Sea Salt and Balsamic Vinegar and nothing less, thanks.
Number THREE. Bath and Body Products:
Oh right, just because I live in a house with 3 cats means I stink of cat piss? Thanks for the hint, love!
Number FOUR. A Teddy Bear:
Especially one that says ‘Be Mine’… Who are you? Charles Manson??? CREEPY.
There are things I do find acceptable, but not on valentines day, just like, throughout the year. Things like cooking me a nice meal, making me a funny card, writing me a cute note. Even making me a mix CD which contained cheesy love ballads would be better than the above tat (srsly, don’t do this for me, anyone)…….I think I’ve said enough. I’m not completely miserable, but receiving some of those gifts would certainly make me.
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!
Joy Division//Love Will Tear Us Apart