(w)T(f)opshop Part Deux

As my previous post outlining the sheer WTF*ckery of Topshop went down so well, I thought I’d do another one. Hell, I may even make this a bi-weekly feature on my blog. It’s actually pretty handy that Topshop do have a ‘new this week’ section on their website so I won’t get confused between the garments that are like a cross between a bad 80’s sci fi film and unicorn puke. Here goes nothin’…..
Acrobat Padded Velcro Trainers – £78
Padded….Velcro….Trainers….. I’m trying to find how to say what I’m thinking in a really politically correct term. But I’m afraid I can’t really. I’ll try though…. If I were still at school these would be what would be commonly known as ‘special’ shoes. For people who did not have the ability to do up laces, or may cause themselves an injury if they did not have padded footwear.  This almost defers attention from the tin foil finish, when I say almost, it doesn’t. They’re disgusting. For £78 I’d prefer to fashion some footwear from a few old take away trays (after I’d spent the £78 ON the takeaway)
Moto Dip Dye Western Shirt – £38
Remember when you were little and got up to arts and crafts on the kitchen table under parental supervision? Sometimes your dad would lend you an old shirt which he wore for painting the living room. Well, to relive your crafty childhood look no further. If you don’t want to splurge for the effect though simply grab a bottle of bleach and throw it around like someone who wears velcro padded trainers for the same look.
Love Heart Leggings – £25
If these don’t have a giant Love Heart saying ‘Eat Me’ on the ass, I’m just not interested.
Mini Multi Aztec Leggings – £12
‘Mini’ leggings? Aren’t they just like, shorts? The pattern on these makes me think about Pat Sharp and Neil Buchanan, possibly having an acid induced slumber party with the Twins in Pat’s Fun House, eating a load of Rainbow Drops and getting their art on. I like things a bit ‘wacky’ but I certainly don’t like these.
*EDIT* It has been pointed out that these mini leggings (SHORTS) are actually from the Kids Section from Topshop. So don’t worry folks, at least there’s now hope that if we do catch someone wearing them it will be a child, so we CAN get Social Services involved.


  1. April 19, 2012 / 9:58 pm

    The shoes are a very awful lookalike of Isabel Marant's shoes that are sold out eerywhere. How could Top Shop produce such a bad thing?

  2. April 19, 2012 / 6:06 pm

    Hahahahahahhahahhaahaha Outstanding! 🙂

  3. April 19, 2012 / 12:27 pm

    hi! I'm a pretty new follower of your blog and I don't think I've commented before, but just wanted to say I love these (w)t(f)opshop posts! They completely crack me up! 🙂 I so far completely agree on all of the items and your descriptions make me laugh so much. I hope you do more of these, because I for one will be looking forward to them! Thanks for the chuckle 🙂
    Beth x

  4. April 19, 2012 / 8:46 am

    Again, I just love this post!

  5. April 19, 2012 / 7:18 am

    Hahaha I love these posts – please make them a regular thing! 😀

    The velcro padded sci-fi trainer/boots have got to be the best – who could possbly justify spending £78 quid on something so hideous! Where would you wear them?



  6. April 19, 2012 / 12:09 am

    DIY shirt for £35? No thanks. The love heart leggings scared me and I guess those space age boots might be worth getting now. The price will probably be sky-high in 2060. :/

  7. April 18, 2012 / 11:56 pm

    Love these posts, always good for a chuckle!
    Definitely make them a regular feature ;D


  8. April 18, 2012 / 10:39 pm

    Hahaha you're so right. That shirt is hideous! Somebody needed to do a post this, if you ask me it's been a long time coming! xxx

  9. April 18, 2012 / 10:18 pm

    Haha I really want the love heart leggings ! Haha but I'm with you on the rest, I was thinking the other day about just bleaching the bottom of an old shirt I found under my bed. Tis madness that people would pay! £38 for that, it's not even a nice colour. But yes I stand by the love heart leggings ;p xx

    • April 18, 2012 / 10:20 pm

      It would be so easy to do the shirt at home, you could even pick a new one up from primark for around a fiver and dip dye it yourself. Hahaha if the love heart leggings are like cycling short material you're going to hell! x

    • April 18, 2012 / 10:14 pm

      What you on about? I just bought them to wear on a bangin' night out at the weekend…. NAAAHHHTTT.

  10. April 18, 2012 / 10:01 pm

    Please make this a frequent feature! I hate Topshop. They deserve to be shamed. They think they can just create any old shit, and some hipster LOONS go and buy it!! x

  11. Anonymous
    April 18, 2012 / 9:50 pm

    I may be wrong, but I think the mini aztec leggings are for babies? (I know RI have a baby section, not 100% on Topshop), but if they're for adults WTF were they thinking?

    Those trainers too. Good god they're awful.

    • April 18, 2012 / 10:15 pm

      You're right they're are kids section, I've edited it now though! 😉

  12. April 18, 2012 / 9:46 pm

    They're seriously trying to sell that shirt for £38!? Whoever buys that crap DESERVES to be ripped off.

    • April 18, 2012 / 10:14 pm

      I know right? It's the epitome of more money than sense!