Major Muck from Maybelline

Excuse the title, but ‘muck’ was the only word I could find that could be combined with the keen alliteration that makes me such a ninja of blog post titles now and again, and that also would express the major disappointment of the new Maybelline Mega Plush Volum’ Express Mascara … And I won’t even go in to why typing ‘volume’ with an apostrophe instead of the ‘e’ for no apparent reason just embarrasses this little wand of shit even more than I’m going to do in this blog post. I’ve been pretty disinterested in Maybelline as a brand for many years, until recently when I was impressed with their ‘colour tattoo’ eyeshadows and those Colour Show nail varnishes, so I bought this in good faith after seeing several ‘big bloggers’ instagram it saying how much they loooveeee it and how ‘great’ it is. Well, this is the last time I succumb to their opinion I’m afraid, as this is possibly the most useless mascara ever made, and if not then it’s certainly the worst one to ever hit my make up bag.
Maybelline Mega Plush Mascara

It was purchased on a whim, one day after work I popped across to Boots and noticed the stand had a ‘buy one get one half price’ offer on, so I picked up a new colour tattoo eyeshadow and this. It wasn’t until I got home that I realised the offer didn’t apply to this mascara so even more a bitter taste was left in my mouth after trying it. The Maybelline Mega Plush Mascara claims to be a revolutionary innovation in mascara’s by being a ‘gel mousse’ formula. What? GEL… MOUSSE? WHY? I don’t even get what this new fangled spin would be about, or why this would be a desirable thing to market a mascara with. It was only after I bought this that I noticed only something like 76% of 90 people of agreed that this mascara was ‘softer’ than regular ones, or some whimsical shit like that. That’s hardly a percentage to write home about regardless what the claim was. The promotional pictures all state below that the model’s lashes have been ‘styled with inserts’ well how bloody brilliant to be so open about misleading the consumer like that, like it changes anything when you buy it and come to the realisation you may as well have thrown your money down a manhole. The brush is super big and an awkward shape, but even using a brush from another mascara doesn’t help it’s plight to create ‘mega plush’ lashes… This mascara isn’t bad as such, it’s just pointless. It does nothing beneficial and you may aswell just go without. In fact I’d say it makes my lashes look shorter than no mascara at all does.  Don’t get me wrong, you will know that I don’t like to completely slate a product and always believe in a fair review, sometimes things do work for others that haven’t worked for me, so let’s look at the positives of this product: The colour of the packaging is alright. Yup that’s about the only good thing about it. I think when it comes to mascara’s and the formula it’s a case of ‘if it’s not broke, don’t fix it’ as there’s little need for this product to be developed in the grand scheme of things. I’ve never found any mascara’s particularly brittle or flakey, so it shows that a lot of them out there aren’t, so why was there the need to ‘develop’ this waste of money? I really do not know.

Maybelline Mega Plush Mascara.
So, if you like wasting £7.99 on a mascara that is about as much use as poking yourself in the eye with a rusty spoon, then sure go ahead, buy this. But if you want voluminous lashes with length and thickness then avoid this like an STD. That’s £7.99 would have been better spent on crack, of the ass variety.


  1. June 7, 2013 / 2:03 pm

    Ha this seriously made me chuckle Terri, it's so refreshing to read such an honest review!


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  2. June 5, 2013 / 10:12 pm

    Terri, I love your reviews.

  3. June 5, 2013 / 8:00 pm

    Love the honestly in this review! Definitely wont be purchasing this! Great Post! xx

  4. June 5, 2013 / 6:49 pm

    I like rusty spoons….Youtube it please. Else this comment is wasted. and yes I am lolling to myself.

  5. June 5, 2013 / 3:40 pm

    This is the funniest review I have read in ages. Brightened my afternoon, thanks! xx

  6. June 5, 2013 / 2:03 pm

    LOL!! Now tell us what you really think!!! I nearly always buy into the hype of new mascaras but they never live up to their claims. I just have to be firm and remind myself that they are talking shit!

  7. June 5, 2013 / 12:21 pm

    This sounds shockingly bad! I picked up the rocket one and I can't see why everyone likes that either, it makes my lashes clump together like crazy.

    Amy xx
    A Little Boat Sailing

  8. June 5, 2013 / 11:31 am

    This post has made my day Terri! Love the brutal honesty! I've given up on finding a mascara that works for me. I've turned to inidvidual eyelashes now to make my eyes look half awake in the morning! xx