First up: Splash or Splurge with this wonderfully eye catching shiny patent dress. You could spend the grand sum of £85 on this ‘bag’ of crap. I say bag, as for a more purse friendly option you could head to your local supermarket and pick up some Value Bin Bags for about 95p and recreate a very similar garment. Another ‘eye catcher’ is the lavish silver maxi skirt. I know mermaid shit is in lately. But…. But… Just, what would you even wear this with? Where would you wear it to? It does have a certain 90’s charm to it though, I mean, it totally reminds me of the cop robot on Terminator 2 when he melts. The leather bottoms you see to the left of the image at first appear to look quite alright. Leather trousers are really on trend at the moment, but these, oh these. These aren’t leather trousers… These are leather front JOGGERS. Now obviously I’m not naive enough to thing that anyone would wear these for a work out (I hope, anyway because that’s a one way ticket to some kind of infection). But why? Why joggers? Why leather fronted? Why £95! The poor cow that died and was skinned for these. Imagine that as your legacy. Mooooo. As for the pale blue boyfriend coat, unless your boyfriend is Barbara Windsor then I’m not sure what he’d be doing in this coat? Why is every shapeless garment on the planet deemed ‘boyfriend’? I just don’t get it.