Festival Fashion: Things You Probably Shouldn’t Wear

It’s that time of year again where everyone is posting ‘Festival Fashion’ blog posts and once again I find myself in a world of WTF. I do enjoy the idea of the items people think they would be able to wear at a Festival, and granted; if you’re going to a one day festival on a sunny sunny day with real toilets available and real chair to sit on – you’d be fine. But if you’re heading off to Leeds or Sonisphere for example, you’re gonna be in for a great deal of ‘grim’ if you choose to wear a playsuit I tell thee. Whilst I do LOVE a good playsuit, the logistics of having a piss in these is one not to be dismissed. Portaloo’s are notoriously filthy, unless you manage to get to one at about 5.30am when they’ve been freshly replenished… So to take this down and try to hold it so it’s not touching the floor/seat whilst hovering trying not to let your bum touch the seat either, whilst ALSO being kinda naked apart from the bra you’re wearing underneath is a living on the edge a little too much for my cup of tea. For a similar style try going for a shorts/vest co-ord instead, then you can whip your shorts down whilst keeping some modesty and cleanliness. A similar scenario can be said for these ‘duster’ cardigans I’m seeing floating about. I’ve worn longer garments to festivals before and although I love these almost as much as playsuits, you really have to be careful with regards to dangling. For the loo you have to ruche it up and pop it under your chin (which looks dead good, honest) and walking around the campsite you’re going to drag so much litter and shit around with you, it’s best to just stick to a mid length kimono instead. Although the idea of combining a full length cardigan AND a playsuit is quite amusing to think about the poor girls who are gonna do this. But damn, will they actually look dead good as well. It’s a double edged sword!
Floral crowns – Just no. Unless it’s 2009 again. These need to stop. You are not as whimsical as you feel. This year bhindi’s are in. But apparently you can only wear them if all your mates wear them too, or so I’ve seen. You know, to be totes hashtag edgy.
I think it’s also underestimated the amount of sun exposure you actually get at a festival. You’re in a field for 24 hours a day, and although some of that time it’s gonna be dark, you’re still soaking up those UV Rays. This is why ‘bondage’ style strappy tops are probably gonna to be a bad idea – Unless you’re thinking of wearing it for the entire summer to keep the inevitable tan lines consistent. I tend to go for garments which cover my shoulder more really so I don’t end up with white bits in odd places. No matter how much sunscreen I use I always end up a little tanned regardless, so it’s something to consider if you’re off for a 4 day stint in a field with Mr Sun. 
It is unfortunate that I’ve had to include my beloved Jelly Sandals in this list, but once again, I find the practicalitles of such delicious footwear at festivals is a no-go. They make your feet sweat something rotten and if the rivers of mud at Leeds Festival last year are anything to go by, then wellies are going to be the only thing your feet need. Obviously, once again, if it’s a one day festival on a sunny day then fair enough, but if it’s a weekender just bear in mind you’re going to be on your feet so much. So plan for the worst and best case scenarios for your feet at least! 
And on a more serious note; I’d probably avoid taking any expensive bags, garments, jewellery and, well anything of value really to a festival. Although I have never personally had anything stolen (probably because I’ve been in the guest or staff campsites in previous years) you do get organised gangs at some festivals that will target tents and areas to steal things. One year when camping in Yellow at Leeds (about 8 year ago, at least) about 10 people I was camping with all had money stolen from their tents on the first night there. Although security is VERY high and they do work incredibly hard to counteract this, sometimes the bad eggs somehow slip through. My advice is to also sleep with your valuables at the bottom of your sleeping bag too, that way no cretins will get them. But don’t let that discourage you from going to any festivals ever, because these cases are so so rare, but better safe than sorry!! I’m also the girl who won’t go to the shop below her flat after dark because I’m scared of my own shadow… So if I can get through a weekend safely then I’m certain you can too. There are other options for camping apart from a little tent in a field too, like Pink Moon who offer slightly nicer accommodation on separate sites too.
Obviously this is just what I personally wouldn’t wear, based on experience, but if it all sounds like fun to you then do whatever. It’s your festival and have fun!


  1. June 27, 2014 / 2:24 pm

    Oh god, I once turned a net curtain into a cardigan thing like this and thought it was the coolest thing ever. In like 2001 or something. I can't believe they're a thing again now.
    I love playsuits for camping as I think they're fairly practical, but I'm not a fan of festivals or the conditions of squalor that people seem to think is acceptable at them šŸ™

  2. June 26, 2014 / 4:13 pm

    I fully agree with you about not wearing them at festivals for practicality reasons but where are the playsuit and kimono thing in your picture from? šŸ™‚

  3. June 23, 2014 / 8:31 pm

    Excellent post haha! xxx

  4. June 20, 2014 / 5:25 pm

    God love you for posting this! It drives me MAD to see all these girls swanning around in their gladiator sandals, white playsuits and floral crowns. Where do they think they are? Frikking Marbella?

  5. June 20, 2014 / 2:50 pm

    Ahh a lady after my own heart. I'm a big festival goer and agree with all your points. I'm actually the least fashionable person at festivals because I am very practical. I think your tips are justified well and should be take note of by festival newbies. I have just written a post called What to take to a festival. Not written in the same humour as this but puts across a similar message. In fact, Iā€™m going to link to your post under my post!
    Miss Tulip x
    The Thrifty Magpies Nest

  6. June 20, 2014 / 12:27 pm

    Agreed, I don't understand it when magazines recommend a Ā£70 dress as 'festival-wear', when it's just going to get ruined and covered in mud stains in the first few hours of you being at a festival. Also, as you said, it may get stolen. I had my wellies stolen the first time I went to a festival! xo