I’m sure if you read blogs on a regular basis, you would have seen the Legal & General campaign all about what you would say to your younger self (there’s more info about that on their website here
). I’m not really one to live with many regrets, but this is partly due to an incredibly bad memory, which means I pretty much forget anything which annoys or has upset me in the past! This sounds ridiculous, but you wouldn’t believe the amount of people I’ve blocked on Facebook because they’ve got on my nerves or er, dumped me, then I’ve seen them in real life and forgot how I actually knew them! Even to the extent where I have gone and said hello to them and they’ve given me a complete ‘WTF’ face and walked off. Whoops. But we live and learn (and then forget again). But anyway, there are some
things I would say to a young T Lowe. And it goes a lil’ somethin’ like this:
Dear younger Terri Lowe:
Do not ever worry about that little piggy nose and chubby cheeks which take up most of your face as a child. You grow in to them during your early 20’s and soon become a super hot female despite questionable hair cuts which make you look like a mushroom.
When your optician gives you John Lennon glasses to try and sort out a slight short sightedness in Year 8, then please do wear them, because when you are 28 your pet hamster which you currently have (at the age of 7, called Brandy Shandy Monica Holly) will have better eye sight than your current minus 6 prescription.
Speaking of hamsters, your two big front teeth which are a little hamster like and you worry about being really yellow in your teens? Don’t worry about them either, because whitening strips will exist and you will have a smile which will sink a thousand ships (or maybe about 3 small canoes).
Do not get that Hello Kitty tattoo at the age of 16. Or the heart on your stomach. You won’t regret the actual tattoos as much as the £40 you spent on both altogether at the tattooist who didn’t even ID you, but they’re not your favourite thing in the world.
Try and perfect your photo face before it’s too late, because at the tender age of 28 you still desperately try and fail.
Don’t let your Glamour Nana take you to get your nose pierced when you’re in year 7… Then your belly button aged 13 and multiple ear piercings. In fact leave all the piercings alone, and don’t have your lip pierced because that chips your teeth and dentists are expensive as a grown up. These trends come and go (but Limp Bizkit don’t so don’t worry about that).
Make sure you continue what yo momma taught you when feeding yourself as an adult. I know right now you might feel a little left out because most kids at school have McDonalds on a weekly basis, but fast food should always be a treat and not a daily meal!
Speaking of which, when you do start living alone be sure to actually get some of your 5 a day. Invest in a smoothie maker, but don’t get too ambitious by adding prunes to it as they will break it. Just stick to some fresh berries or something ok?
And one final thing; you will never like mushrooms, so give up now kid.